Thinking Thursday - The Normal Child

Many years ago we had a saying that, “Oh that child is not normal.” I also heard people say, “Oh, they don’t come from a normal family.” Writers wrote “normal” books, and people lived normal lives.

Somewhere along the road things began to change. The normal “gauge” changed norms. A series of not-normal activities brought a lack of trust in what was always considered normal. In the case of writing that was good. There were more ideas, exposures and situations.

I am not so sure about our families. What changed the gauge on the normal children and normal family? I think we have to look at the definition of a normal family before answering, and there lies the problem. Many years ago a normal child—one with normal behavior, habits and questions for someone of the same age—came from a normal family—two parents, neighbors who took care of each other, a ritualistic bedtime for the children and a time for creating happy memories together.

Now, a normal family cannot be defined in those terms. There are two many one parent households, next door neighbors whose names we do not know, bed times whenever and very little time together. All of this not only redefines normal, but takes a toll on our precious children.

We still stay, “I did not have a normal childhood.” Now we don’t know what that means.
We need to be able to define a normal childhood and address the issues that will help make our families “normal.”

What do you think?

Thinking Thursday - People Skills versus Computer Relationships

I wonder sometimes with the onset of technology that my people skills will diminish. I am talking about the day to day, one on one contact we have in person—the confrontations, the companionships and the friendships-- versus the relationships that rely on technology.

I will admit that e-mailing people at midnight appeals to me as a convenience. I also like being able to delete those messages from certain people. I learn about others over the internet. I can see that from the popularity of internet dating.

But I also understand the joys of having a "live" friend at my side, the smiles and the touch.

One of the joys of writing is to observe. I observe body movements, voice inflections and eyes. I revel in seeing the excitement on children’s faces. I want the picture in my mind and the memory in my heart. I want to witness it.

I learn from confrontation. I grow from confrontation. It gives me plots in my writing.

Will friendships be only on the computer in the future? Where will I find my plots? Will I have to rely on the two-dimensional relationships (computer or texting)?

“Oh, you’re exaggerating,” some people have said. They tell me it will never happen. Some accuse me of momentary lapses of sanity and exhaustion.

Maybe I am exaggerating—and maybe not. Do you think technology will cause our relationships to become two-dimensional?

Do you think this shortage of "in person" interaction will affect writing in the future?

Thinking Thursday - Happy or Sad

I mentioned in a previous blog that I have happy endings in the books I write. I know that there are several good books out there with sad endings.

Books to me take the reader to exotic places and offers escape of the drudgery of life. They provide hope and sometimes information. They give us time to heal.

If I am reading a book, I want it to end on a happy note. I want to close the book after the last word and feel the satisfaction of knowing that I made the right choice in my escape. If I wanted to cry or feel hopeless, I don't have to read about it to do so.

Perhaps, I am looking at this the wrong way. Maybe books should provide solutions to real-life problems. But do they? Perhaps books should send a message that the sad feeling is normal? But do most children want to feel sad? Do we want children to base an opinion on reading on a sad book?

Maybe, just maybe, for a few minutes children want to smile.

What do you think?

The Kid in the Picture Book

Confession time.

I’m the kid in the picture book--you know the one with a problem searching for an answer--the one who uses the illogical logic to find the way to the happy ending.

And yes, in my writing children have happy endings.

I’m the kid who does the stupid things and learns from them--eventually.

I am the one that focuses on the problem at hand willing to give anything a try to get passed it. And hopefully, I am the one that does what it takes to get to the solution.

I am the one that finds peace in the simplest solutions and the satisfaction in knowing I tackled the problem and won.

I am the one who uses time-out as a planning period and nap time as plotting time.

I am the kid that doesn’t look past the nose on my face for help, cause it’s a hard enough journey to get that far.

I am the one that looks for possibilities with every touch, every smell and in every adventure.

But...

Just as a picture book has limited pages to find the happy ending, my life has a limited number of days.

I am the kid in the picture book!

And the only thing that matters is the journey between the front and back cover.